5 Reasons Why Listicles Are Annoying as F*ck
Listicles are massively popular these days — in our technologically advanced but common-sense-ically challenged society the internet is full of em. Millennials gobble up ‘5 reasons why this’ and ’10 reasons don’t do that’ like a full English after a night out on the piss.
Truth be told, they can be a bit a annoying, and here are 5 reasons why.
1. You Only Read the Titles and Skip Straight Past the Text
There’s actually no point writing anything here, you’re not reading it anyway. I might as well tell you what I had for lunch. Nothing. I was too busy writing this listicle.
But, part of the first law of thermodynamics states that in an isolated system the total energy is constant; energy is neither created nor destroyed and merely changes form. The universe can be classed as an isolated thermodynamic system, so all the particles you’re made of have existed in one form or another since the beginning of time.
If you’re actually reading this then you (might’ve) learnt something new. Yay!
2. They’re Really Preachy
Somehow the author just assumes they know SO much more about the subject than you do. Obviously my knowledge on why these pieces are annoying is unquestionable and absolute, and my word is law, because it’s written in a list based-article. Fail to follow my expert advice at your own doom.
3. ****They Try and GRAB YOUR ATTENTION with Flashy Headlines!!!!!!!!!****
But then don’t really bother putting anything worthwhile in the text. Are you actually reading this? Just be normal — read the title then skip past this text block completely.
4. For Some Reason Every Word In Every Title Starts With A Capital Letter
This Is Not How We Were Taught Grammar. Our English Teachers Would Be Turning In Their Graves. If They Weren’t Reading Listicles On The 10 Best Ways To Turn In Your Grave.
5. They Usually Run Out of Things to Say By The End Of The Article and Add Extra Useless Titles to Pad It Out